Not me Monday

It was ::not me:: who went to Kroger this morning in the shirt I wore for pajamas last night!  I would never leave the house in anything but freshly laundered articles of clothing!

It was ::not me:: who just last night (wearing the same shirt mentioned above) had to go take some movies back and threw a jacket on and zipped it up because I didn't want to put a bra on.  I'd never, ever leave the house without a bra!!!

It was ::not me:: who spent 10 minutes swinging on Chace and Miles' swing set yesterday {by myself} while they played in the sand box.  I'm much too big to be playing on children's play equipment!

It was ::not me:: who cried and left my dad's without saying anything the other day because I felt like he was yelling at me in front of a delivery guy about moving my car [though it was his normal tone of voice when he's in "work mode"].  I'm much too old to be offended by a harsh tone from my father and I'd never cry about it!

It was ::not me:: who boo hoo'd watching a movie last night about people having babies.  [What to Expect When You're Expecting].  I'd know what a movie like that would do to me and I'd never torture myself by watching it! It was a pretty good movie!

It was ::not me:: who got scared when someone knocked on the door at 10:30 pm the other night while I was watching tv and chace was sleeping on the bean bag.  It was also ::definitely not me:: who scooped him up and ran him to my bedroom and threw him in the bed with Bill so I could go answer the door -- only to find out it was a pizza delivery girl looking for the address 2 houses away.

It was surely ::not me:: who drug out alllll of my fall/halloween decorations Saturday and left them sitting in the living room by the front door.  I would never drag out a mess and not finish it right away!

So, what about you?  Care to share some of your "not me" moments?  I'd love to hear that I'm not the only unperfect person out there!  :)  Have a wonderful Monday!

Little bit of a Debbie Downer.

My Uncle Jim got some good news and some not so good news.  The good news is that his tumor has shrunk from 5.5 to 2.5.  Bad news is that it is spreading.  Still praying for a miracle.  People say they happen every day....

Several of my friends have commented on facebook on a page for a little 13 year old boy with cancer.  I don't know them at all, but read the page and I broke down.  He is ready to pass and there was an interview with his mother talking about how they've told him it's ok to go if God tells him to.  I.cannot.imagine.the.pain.  I have been weeping for 15 minutes for this little boy and his family.  Hoping he finds his miracle also.... 

We got an email from our case worker that it is time for our monitoring visit.  It is no big deal, but I don't want to do it.  Of course we will because we have to...but I still don't want to; sometimes I just want to give up.  I won't give up, but it's what I feel like doing sometimes.  I feel like we're never going to get a baby and that I'm just wasting time worrying, wondering, and crying.  What in the heck have I done to deserve this wait?  Aghhhhh.

I have been in a pretty foul mood lately.  I get mad at Bill for the stupidest things.  Sometimes he pronounces a word wrong and it gets on my nerves.  If he doesn't have the right expression when I tell him something then I think he's mad....then I get mad....then he gets mad that I'm mad even when he wasn't mad.  See how stupid it is?!  Ugh.

So, how's that for being a Debbie Downer?!  I'll think of a better post for tomorrow....but for now, I'm going to wallow in my own self pity and go to bed.  Tomorrow is a new day!

Weekend visitor....

So, if you read my last post, you know that my Uncle Jim is very sick.  He and his family came up for a quick trip this weekend.  I was so nervous that he would look so sick already and that the visit would be filled with awkward moments, like "I know you're sick but I don't know what to say" moments.  It was anything but that....and for that I am so thankful. 

Being sick sure didn't affect Uncle Jim's un-punctuality.  He was as late as ever.  Kidding, kidding!  Sort of.  :)  I thought he was coming to the parade with us and he showed up a few hours later.  He had a good excuse, though...he was napping.  :)  This is something I have always made fun of him for (and not always behind his back...haha). 

Being sick also did not affect his Grandpa-Kopec-like story telling.  A short story will take forever to tell.



And ever.




And ever.





And then a little bit longer.

But, I have never been happier to hang onto every word he said!

I promise I am not being mean by these little digs at him!  :)  I love you Uncle Jim!

When he finally arrived, we showed him and Aunt Ruth the shop (she had never been there) and headed to dad's to cook on the grill.  We visited, ate, laughed, had a campfire, joked, and had fun.  I took lots of pictures but I always do that anyway.  ;)  It was just like normal.  Except he is sick.    

To me, there was a little aura(?) that hung in the air.  We all knew the filthy, unwelcomed guest was staking residence inside him, and cursed it with unspoken words.   Since things were so "normal" I didn't want to talk about the cancer as not to tarnish the visit.  But, it was still there.  I asked how he was feeling a few times and he assured he was ok, a little worn out, but doing ok.  I talked with Aunt Ruth a little bit about how she felt, but I didn't want to pry.  I can't even imagine.

I did not cry there. I am known as a bit of a cry baby 'round these parts - in every sense of the word, but I kept it together.  Since he looks great and acts the same old Uncle Jim, it was easier.  When I do cry about it, it's when I think of the future.  I don't want him to go through this.  I don't want Aunt Ruth and Shawn to go through this.  I want him to be here when I finally get a baby.  What a miracle that would be.  Miracles happen every day....let's hope and pray for his!  And there were the waterworks.  Excuse me.
Ok, let's end this with some pictures!  Pictures make everything better.  I am loving this pic of me and Uncle Jim.  Then there's Chace and him sitting around the fire talking about monsters, a happy, happy family, Amy and a silly Uncle Jim face, and my dad and his siblings. 















Oh, snap!  Looks like I've ended this just in time to catch some Real Housewives of NJ!  Toodles!

Ten for Today

1.  I don't ask for prayers very often.  BUT, our family could sure use some right now.  My Uncle Jim has been diagnosed with terminal anaplastic thyroid carcinoma.  Cancer.  The word makes me sick.  I've never had to deal with someone I know closely having cancer.   This particular cancer has a very low survival rate and progresses rapidly.  There is no treatment.  He will do radiation treatments to keep it at bay, but they will not cure it.  He is coming to visit this weekend (they live a few hours away) and I hope I can keep it together.  My mind is racing trying to think of things I want to say.  If you would, please say a prayer for him, my Aunt Ruth, and cousin Shawn.  They have a very tough road ahead.

2.  I feel awkward posting anything else on this after #1, but I know Uncle Jim reads my blog sometimes and would enjoy reading other tid bits of my amazing wit!

3.  This is my last week of work (for the Doctor anyway).  I am thankful to have had such wonderful bosses over the last few years.  I can honestly say that no one has doted on me as much as they have.  I believe that I am a good worker, and they have never had a problem telling me that.  Makes you feel really good that people appreciate what you do.  I will miss that and hope that my new boss will appreciate the same.  Ahem, Pam/Dad.  haha

4.  Grace turned 11 last week and we had an awesome week celebrating her birthday.  Yes, a whole week!  :)  We had a family party one week before since it's Bill's birthday that week too, then a slumber party a few days later, and wrapped it up celebrating just the three of us on her actual birthday.  She is a very fortunate little girl and I am so happy that she knows that!  We will be delivering stuff to the local children's shelter that she collected in lieu of birthday gifts from her friends (though they were sweet friends and still brought some things for Grace herself!).  Here's the birthday girl::

 

5.  Grace was telling me about a sub teacher at her school the other day and she said she had botox several times.  I asked her how she knew that - she told me because she looks like one of those ladies on those shows I always watch.  I'm assuming she's talking about The Real Housewives and not The Office.  You think?!  hahaha

6.  If you're broke, don't go to the bar all the time.  That costs a lot of money.

7.  I thought someone broke in our house the other night while we were laying in bed.  I saw a light that I could have sworn was a flash light in the kitchen and I heard "someone" stumbling around.  I shook Bill and woke him up and he assured me it was the dogs.  He quickly fell back to sleep while I laid with my eyes bugged open staring out the bedroom door for an eternity.  Once I was convinced no one was there, I started to drift off - and then I heard a scraping noise.  My eyes flew open and I almost screamed seeing something coming in the bedroom door.  It was a BALLOON from Grace's birthday!!  Good thing I used the bathroom right before bed, I think we could have had a real mess on our hands.  I've GOT to quit watching scary movies!

8.  Bill's grandma passed away last week after a massive stroke.  She had a great life and it was obvious she touched her grandkids' lives.  Since there are only 6 grandkids and 3 of them live farther away, it was nice for them to see each other and remember memories of her.  Bill's Aunt let Grace go through her great grandma's jewelry and pick some things out. She showed me a hair comb that she picked out and informed me that she wants to wear it on her wedding day.  Planning ahead, that's my girl!

9.  I am loving my kindle fire I got for my birthday!  I can't wait for Christmas so I can ask for gift cards so I can buy more books!  I have a problem buying books myself when I could just go to the library!  Woe is me.  :)

10.  Ending this because I am tired.  Found a new blog post title I like today, "If you really know me"....think I may try that one in the future.....stay tuned!

I'm starting to get a complex....

We showed our profile again....and we weren't chosen, AGAIN.  What the heck is the matter with us?! 

I know, I know....there are others waiting too.  Only one family can be chosen.  Our time will come.  We will know why when it happens.  I know.   But I want to know why - now.  Wahhh.

I got the news this morning just as I was starting to take some pictures for a sweet little newborn.  Perfect timing. 

We did not tell anyone about showing our profile this time.  I was so excited, I had it all planned out in my head.  It was going to be a situation like Catelynn and Tyler on Teen Mom, minus Tyler.  We would find out that she chose us and I would scream on the phone and hang up crying happy tears.  I would nonchalantly call our family and invite them over for my famous chicken and dumplins.  That was sure to get everyone here.  We would talk and eat - all the while keeping a secret that we were about to reveal.  I would tell everyone we had a surprise for dessert and do something a little fun to tell them.  What, I don't know, I hadn't thought that far ahead yet.  ;) 

But, one phone call this morning changed that plan.  I took the newborn pictures and then I did what any well disciplined woman on a diet would do.

 I went to Wendy's. 

I did it big.  TWO junior bacon cheeseburgers.  Man, were they good.  They didn't help my heart though.  It still hurts. 

I know another will come along and this just might happen again....or it might not.  We'll see.  I'm strong and I can handle.  But in the mean time, I'm starting to get a complex!

Just some sentences

People who update their facebook status with "fml" really make me crazy.  Do you really have it so bad that you need to say f my life.  No milk for your cereal, so f your life.  Really?

Tomorrow is baby Miles' one year birthday party.  I love that little man so much I can't stand it. 

Ernie visited Grace tonight.  You can read a little about Ernie in this blog post here.  I have always loved Grace's reactions to Ernie, but I am loving them much more now.  I know these days of believing are numbered.  And, no, I don't think she's faking it so it will keep going on.  This girl is a believer!  I hope she always is.

I've been staying up too late again lately.  The Olympics are getting me!  I'm not a fan of watching sports, but there's something about the Olympics that make it awesome!  My favorites are girls gymnastics and diving.  What are yours?

Miles pooped in my living room floor today.  I let him go diaper free for aboooooout one minute and while he was standing by the couch, he dumped me a present.  I screamed, he got scared, stepped in the second one he just left and slipped and fell.  Poop was everywhere.  Chace was screaming and laughing.  Miles was screaming and crying.  I was just screaming.  What a fiasco that was.  After I got the mess cleaned up (bath for baby, cleaner for the floor) Chace told me it still smelled like turds in the living room.  So, we packed up and went to McDonald's to play in the play land (after everyone was cleaned off, of course). 

I don't know where Chace is coming up with some of the things he says lately, but I LOVE it.  Today he said, "Oh my god, you are being so sweet to me I just can't stand it".  Later, while I was trying to figure out how to bathe a poop covered baby, Chace pointed out that there were a lot of turds in the bath tub.  We had to drain and start over.  I think he likes to say "turd".

School is almost here!  I'm ready for this year, hoping it's better than last.  Grace is always excited for school to start, we'll check in in a couple of months and see how excited she is.  I was always ready for school.  Mostly to get away from home when I lived with my mother, then to see my friends when I was a little older.  I also loved new school supplies.  Something about an unmarked notebook and fresh pens.  I think my favorite things were new folders.  I loved organizing my classes.  What was your favorite school supply?!

Need to go get some rest for the big birthday party tomorrow!  Good night!

Men and doctors - and the weirdo in the attic

What is it with men (and some women, I guess) not wanting to go to the doctor?  Seems like the only ones who visit the doctor regularly are......I better not go there....yet.  Let me back up and start this over.

Bill NEVER wants to go to the doctor.  He could have a major fever, snotting his nose off, coughing up a storm...and he refuses to go.  Now, I don't think you need to go for every snot and sniffle either.  But, there comes a point when your "country boy can survive" mentality is not enough. 

Like tonight when he felt like he broke his knee cap.

Want to know how that happened?!  Ok!

So, after supper I was sitting on the couch and kept hearing something.  I told Bill to mute the tv and when he did we heard a scratching in the ceiling.  My very first thought (though very brief) was that I thought I saw the cover to the attic slightly off the other day and what if someone was living in the attic and came out at night?!  Remember a movie like that years ago??  Then that thought went away.  That doesn't happen, right? 

Bill tells me it has to be a mouse.  Eek.  I have to know, and tell him he needs to look up in the attic to check.  He doesn't seem concerned all, so I pester him for what he needs to begin the investigation.  Blah, blah, blah.  I head out to the garage and drag in the small ladder, spot light, and maglite flash light.  The mag lite ends up having dead batteries and the step ladder is too short.  Drats.  I drag it back outside and lug the big ladder inside. 

Bill apparently finds this show humorous and decides to join in.  I bang through the back door to find him standing in the hallway with the spot light in hand and a stainless steel bowl on his head, ready for action!!!  It was pretty funny.  He begins to set up the ladder while I go into the living room to mute the tv again.  As I'm heading back, I heard the biggest crash.  I run to find the ladder on it's side and Bill on the ground.  I didn't know whether to laugh or cry!  I asked if he was ok and all he could muster was, "I don't know".  Fast forward a few seconds and he's getting up and there's no blood, so I'm a little relieved. 

The next thing I see is the metal bowl laying in the corner.  "Did you wear the bowl on your head up into the attic???!!"   When he begins to laugh through the pain, I can tell that he did.  Oh boy.

We'll see what tomorrow brings, --lots of sore muscles I'm sure.  Sore knee, ankle, and wrist for Bill and sore stomach muscles for me from laughing so hard at the sight of my honey defending me from the non-existent weirdo in the attic while wearing a stainless steel bowl on his head!

So, long story long - Bill has a swollen wrist, ankle, and knee. He said his knee hurts the worse and refused to go to the hospital. He can barely walk around and says he doesn't need a dr to give him pills and a knee replacement. You know, cause that's exactly what they would do. Ahem.

**And for your added peace of mind, there was no man in the attic - and nothing else he could see for that matter.  :)