On our way to the store last night as we pull out of the drive, Grace says to me while wearing her Hannah Montana concert headband with a microphone attached:

G: "Even without singing lessons, I'm a good singer."

Me: "Oh yeah?"

G: "Yeah"....*turns up the radio*

G: "I ruuuuuuhhhhh oooooohhhhhhh ughhhhhhh ooooonnnnnhhhh ooooooo"
*You know, the words we all use when we don't know the words, but we know how it should go?*

G: "See?"

Me: "Oh yeah, that's really good"

Now, the funny thing is that the girl cannot carry a tune to save herself, but she thinks she is the greatest thing since Hannah! I think I'll just let her believe that!

There's a little story behind this set of pictures, so they deserved a collage of their own! When I was little, I'm gonna say maybe 4ish?, my Grandma Kopec made this dress for me. She also made one for my sister and cousin in different colors. SOMEwhere there are pictures of us in them, I'll have to see if I can get a copy. Anyway, my Aunt Patty has had them put up and gave them to us a while back. I got to looking at the dress, and thought it would fit Grace like a shirt. Lo and behold, it did! So, with a tank underneath, I got some pics of my not so little girl in my little girl dress!

It's been a while since time has been able to work out when Grace was here and we didn't have anything going on to be able to take pictures. Well, this weekend before the rain started, we got to do just that! She loves to have her picture taken (thankfully!) Here's a little collage from our sunday afternoon...



Things have been good around here. I have an SIS test scheduled in Evansville for the 29th and if everything goes ok with that, I will get my IVF protocol. YAY! Really, it makes me so nervous I could be sick, but I'm trying to think positive here!

Today marks the first day of fall! I've been waiting for this all summer! Ha! Pumpkins, straw, and corn stalks OH MY! It's the most wonderful time of the year! Well, this and Christmas. I love the cooler weather, the outside bonfires, and long sleeve shirts. Fall is going to be great!

Infertility Sucks!

Life is full of heartaches and disappointments. I don't think anyone can say that they haven't had their share of both. Sometimes I wonder though, why some of us have to struggle with it more than others that we think are more deserving of it. That may sound heartless to say, but really, I think we all have had something happen and wonder why it couldn't have been someone else. I'm not saying it has to be someone you know....just someone else.

For instance, infertility. I've had surgery, I've taken more hormones than someone my age should have to take. I've taken countless pills, injected myself with needles, and wasted more money on home pregnancy tests than I should have. I've heard tons of comments from well meaning family/friends telling me that they know it will work this time. Well, this time comes and to no avail, it was not this time. I've endured countless baby showers while wearing a smile. Though I am happy for them, can you really expect me to not have a feeling of envy. If you were in my shoes, you would understand. And I don't expect you to understand....just think about it. To get back on track, I've dealt with all of this and then I hear on the news of a woman who delivered her baby and put it in a trash bag and threw it in the dumpster. Of course I don't know her, but why couldn't it have been her who was plagued with infertility? I could have loved that child and given it a life it deserved.

Don't get me wrong, I know I have a good life otherwise. I am blessed with a wonderful husband and stepdaughter. I love Grace and would do anything for her. We have fun and I know she loves me. But, it's not the same as a bio child. She's not here all of the time and she has her own mother. I want to know what it's like to wake up every couple of hours to feed a crying baby. How exciting is it to take them for their first haircut? People tell me these things are not that exciting, but they've not had to face the reality that maybe they'd never do that stuff.

Poor me, I know! I am very thankful that there is nothing major wrong with me. God forbid, there could be a serious illness in our family. So, in a way, I am thankful that this is all I have to worry about. But, it's still hard and it sucks!

So, we start a new journey. I'll get a protocol for an IVF cycle. I never thought it would come to this, yet it has. There will be weeks of more medicine and waiting. Lots of 2 hours there and 2 hours back drives to the RE. It will be agonizing and fretful. I have researched it and was not impressed with the success rates. However, I have heard from several women who tried IVF and it worked on the first time. So, again, I am hopeful. I feel like I'm setting myself up for another letdown, but I need to change my mindset. I need to think positive. But the "what if's" weigh heavy on my mind and heart. It is very expensive. Thank goodness insurance will cover a very small portion. Aside from that, I am thankful for my dad who is willingly helping us out with the rest. He said it would be worth every penny to have another grandbaby and to see me happy......thanks, dad.

So, in other words, infertility sucks! I hate feeling alone and am ready for some good news! In the meantime, I'll keep enjoying the good life that I do have!

Time to post the birthday blog! Grace's 8th birthday party was a success! Friday morning I took her to school and she wanted to go out to eat for lunch. So, I picked her up at lunchtime and we went to Mike's Drive In so she could get a root beer. She likes these because they serve kids root beer in a very tiny frosty mug and she thinks this is the greatest! On the way back to school, we picked up dixie cream donuts and juice boxes for her to take for a treat at school. She said everyone liked the donuts and she liked being the star student for the day. When I picked her up from school, Ethan's mom let us know that he was going to be coming to the party. He is Grace's new love interest....this made her very happy! We went home and changed and rested a bit for the party. After a trip to the party store to pick up the balloons and Larry's for cupcakes, we were finally at Extreme Sports. After a thousand times of answering that everyone would arrive in a little bit, finally people started to show up. The kids bounced their hearts out! I think everyone had a great time....pictures below show it! After cupcakes, soda, and presents it was time to head home for a little sleepover!


These girls had so much fun! We ordered pizzas and had caramel apples and cupcakes. There was a high profile fashion show and a dance party. They played flashlight tag and colored on the front porch with chalk. It was a very late night, but a fun one! I think every birthday is going to include a slumber party!

The next day was Grace's actual birthday, so she got her presents and was surprised with an electric guitar, which she has been going on and on about forever. She was beyond excited! We took a nap after everyone left from the slumber party and Grace visited with her mother for a few hours. When she got back, we went to Fujiyamas. I am not a fan of chinese, so I assumed that I would not like it, but we thought Grace would like it. Come to find out, the food was not all that bad! We went with Amy and family and it was so much fun! I have never been so entertained during dinner. Grace thought it was great and talked about it the rest of the weekend!

I wish someone would please tell me why/when it's OK to:

Wear your pajamas to the store?

Talk about your life in front of customers you are waiting on (i.e. parts of your life that should be kept private)?

Curse out the office manager at your dr. office because you skipped your last appointment and showed up on the wrong day for your new one?

Stand right outside the door to the business you work and smoke? (Whether it be Wal Mart, Subway, or wherever!) Why can't you go out back? I don't care if you smoke, I just think it's unprofessional....

Take your 1 year old to Wal Mart with ONLY a diaper on?

Go to the dr. in your PJ bottoms and a t-shirt with NO bra on?

OK, so I don't know anyone personally who does these things, but these are a few things I ahve observed that really irk me. C'mon, we all have irks, right? I know I'm not the only one....what are yours?!

On a different note, Grace's party is tonight and a few that I thought were coming have canceled. I hope we have a good turnout and she has a good time! I'll post more on that later!!

I had to do this just to prove that not every picture that I take of this handsome little boy is...well, handsome! Haha! Who am I kidding, of course they're still handsome; just funny! Chace will laugh and smile at me constantly until I get the camera out, then he knows I want him to look at me and smile, so he won't!

Finally, I am able to post some pictures! As I said before, Bill just had a birthday. Below are a couple of pictures with his cake and with Grace helping him open some presents. You'll also see the cutest little shopper in the world! Bottom left isn't Grace's first day of school, but it was during her first week of school.
Though the girl can't carry a tune, she loves to sing just like she's Hannah Montana! With her birthday money from my dad a couple of years ago, she picked out a kids acoustic guitar. It's getting a bit small for her, yet she still plays it all of the time. Every time we see guitars at Toys r us, she always talks about wanting one. Sooooo, what do you think the girl got for her birthday? As you see, Bill and I both had to try it out! The pic of Bill playing is him teaching himself "Happy Birthday" on it so when she opens it, he will play it for her. Tell me that's not one of the sweetest things you've heard of?! My pic is just me *trying* to look cool. I don't think I succeeded!



Planning is going well for Grace's birthday. Only a couple of more days and our girl will be 8! She is getting so grown up so fast! All the time it seems she is saying or doing something that is way too grown up. Of course, I think kids are just growing up faster in general. The other day after school, she wanted to "tie a knot in his tail"....referring to a boy who had been picking on her on the playground. She went on and on about how he was so mean. Fast forward to Sat. when she came over, she wanted to know if she could invite Dakota to her birthday party. When I questioned if this was the same Dakota who was so mean to her, she said yes but that it was ok because he had just been having a bad day and now they were boyfriend/girlfriend. Oh boy. Then later she tells Amy that her and Dakota are going to try to go out for at least a year. Oh my. My dad laughed and talked about how funny it was when we were younger to hear me and Amy say "me and so-and-so are *going out*". I remember him telling my Grandpa that I changed boyfriends more than he changed his underwear. I was ten (?) and I thought that was so gross! I think Bill is in for it as Grace gets older!

Amy mentioned wanting to get some more pics of Chace the other day. Sunday was a beautiful day and Bill was working and I didn't have a thing to do so we took some pictures. He's such a handsome little guy! Here are just a few:


Have a good night!