N  e  g  a  t  i  v  e

I did it.  I took a test, and my last 10 days came down to the one line that appeared on the stupid little stick that I dipped this morning.  I knew I shouldn't have done it.  It was stupid, and really at this point, negative isn't truly negative....yet.  I would not buy any tests because of this, and when they are not in the house, it is much easier.  However, my sister bought a couple and brought them here and left them.  Tempting me were these 2 little satan wands under the bathroom cabinet.  I woke this morning at 3:30 and lay for an hour trying to convince myself to go to sleep and not do it.  Curiosity overcame me and obviously I gave in.  I sat in the bathroom feeling foolish before the time was up, I knew better than this.  I couldn't help it.  They were here. 

*Sigh* 

Now, I am almost convinced that this IVF is a failure too.  I'm trying to tell myself that it was still too early.  But, I have read posts from others on the internet (reading on the net has become my worst enemy) and they got positives only 5 or 6 days past transfer.  Why was I insane enough to think maybe I would be one of the lucky ones?  Apparently, luck is not in Lisa Fralick's vocabulary.  Unless it's on scratch off lottery tickets.  I can usually bet on winning a free ticket, sometimes even $2.  I think I need better odds for this though. 

So, now I wait for Tuesday.  I will test that morning at home, just to know what kind of mood to be in when I go for my blood draw.  I am preparing myself for devastation, but would rightly pleased with happy news.  I'm not sure where I will go from here if it's a failure, but I guess only time will tell.  I sure could use some of that scratch off lottery luck that day!

It has been one week since my transfer and I am going to go insane! I am in limbo whether I want to do a HPT or not, my best bet is to NOT do it, but can you imagine how hard it is not to? Didn't think so. Seriously, I wish there was some kind of medicine they could give you to make you almost comatose for these 2 weeks. OK, not really, but not having so much anxiety would he great. It's not been as bad as the first time (yet) but I've been trying to occupy my time. We've been to a baby shower, bridal shower, my dad's birthday is tomorrow, I've worked a few days, and we have a cookout this weekend so hopefully I'll be a little less anxious. Probably not. I'll probably be a raging lunatic. My family is going to love me!

Anyway, I took a few pics at Erin's bridal shower Sunday....It was a fun time and the shower was really nice. Can't wait to have Erin join our family. Though, really she already is.






















So, for now, that's all I've got. I've got to go find something to do. I can't find any good books to read and there's nothing on tv. I can't mow or even vacuum, and I can't pick Chace up. Give me an idea of something to blog about!! Please! Anything. I promise I will try to make it entertaining. What's that? Everything I write is entertaining? Well, thank you! I'm glad you think so!

If you'll notice over to the right -----> I've posted a poll for you to take.  Fill it in and let me know what you think.  You can pick more than one thing! 

I'm a bit picture-less lately.  I've moved all of my pictures to my external drive, save a few newer ones on the computer for editing.   Since I don't have that many for a random picture, and I did so many collages earlier, I'll look for a semi-random one today.......Chace is starting to get shy sometimes now.  Here we had just started singing to him, and he was embarassed!  It's fun to watch the changes he is going through.  EXCEPT the awful tantrum throwing.  You'd never believe that from a 2 year old would you?!

One more collage that didn't make it in last time....Bill's sister and her girls came over for Easter and since the girls matched, we went for a few pictures. These girls are growing up so fast. Katie is going to be a Senior next year, so we will be doing her senior pics sometime soon!

Things are rolling along smoothly with this cycle of IVF.  It has been much easier that the first one because since we are doing a frozen cycle, I don't have to go through the whole process of growing my eggs.  I've been on a Lupron injection for the last month or so to balance out some hormones, though I've felt so nuts lately, I didn't think I had any left!   We went for an ultrasound last week and everything looked good for a go for transfer.  I started Heparin injections twice a day, baby aspirin, and Progesterone injections along with the Lupron Saturday.  The hep and aspirin ae to correct the antibody problem that I have that was reason (hopefully the only one) that it didn't work last time.  So, since Bill had to work yesterday, my sister went with me to pick up my frozen babies.  This transfer wasn't as painful as the first because I didn't have swollen ovaries.  I DID have a swollen bladder, as you are to have a moderately full one for the procedure.  I drank waaaaaay too much water and, I'll spare you all the funny details, lets just say I was in a lot of pain and peed down my leg and the floor some!  Ugh!  So, the transfer took no time, I waited my 30 minutes and we were on our way.  I'm on "couch potato" rest for 24 hours and wait the awful 2 weeks to see if it worked!  So far, I feel better about this cycle, I just hope I continue that outlook!

Ok, my first post back must have pictures. Lots and lots of pictures, so as not to disappoint you. What's that? Oh, you're welcome! I knew you'd like that. Seriously, things here are going good. I will do an update on my IVF later today, but for now just enjoy the next few collages I have made especially for you!

Chace turned 2 this year. He had a bowling party, which he loved. As you can see, he had a SS theme. The kid at the bowling alley who runs the place said it was the best decorated party he'd ever seen! I beg to differ, as my 30th surprise party was held there, and I think that was the best decorated party; but I'll let Amy have her moment. Though she was the one who decorated my party, so I guess she wins either way! OK, back on track. The party was fun, he got a lot of great gifts, all the kids had fun, and Erin beat Raymond in bowling! I took a pic of the score board, but forgot to add it. My Grandpa Kopec is probably rolling in his grave! He says he let her win. Um, ok.



My cousin Jessica is due to have a baby girl in July. I have never taken maternity pics before and she let me practice on her. It was really fun. The bottom picture has a lot of meaning right now, as big brother Hayden is obsessed with dinosaurs. I just think it's cute! I can't wait for little Rilynn to get here so I can practice pictures with a new baby!!


We took a little family trip to Ferne Clyffe. I had never been before, and I am just amazed at the beauty that sits so close to me here in Southern Illinois that I never knew about! We are definitely starting to take more frequent day trips like this. It was a great time, and perfect weather to take the trip. If you've never been, I recommend the hike to the waterfall.


Bill, Grace, and I took a little trip one day to Metropolis. Again, I never knew what neat things we had just around the corner. We visited Fort Massac on the river. We love visiting historical places, and this was a neat place to go. Grace loved it and even said that she likes doing things like this because she gets to learn about stuff while having fun. A girl after my own heart. She got to see the Super Man statue and we ended the trip with a cup of Dippin Dots at their store. I see lots of fun little trips like this during the summer!


Whew, that's enough for now, don't you think? You don't? Well, I must leave something for later! I'm off to go find a dress for my brother's wedding. Have I ever mentioned that I HATE shopping?! Wish me luck!!

I'm baaaaack!!

WooHoo!  After a massive search for the system restore cd for my computer and several hours worth of organizing 10,000 pictures and moving them to an external hard drive....I am restored!  Well, my pc is anyway.  No time for a lengthy post right now, but check back in the near future for an update on things (and probably a picture or 2!)!!!!