Part 2 to our new love story

So, as the kids finished up eating, our first guests arrived, who were so ready to meet our new addition.  When Heidi and Aunt Patty came in, he did just as Grace instructed and said “Hi, Pat Pat” while grinning from ear to ear.  *All small kids call her Pat Pat  : )

We got up from the table and went to his room to show off his stuff (and admire the assembling job Heidi and I did on the toddler bed!)  haha! Aunt Patty and Heidi came with all kinds of goodies for our little man.  They began to pull them out of the bags and he was so excited - especially about his spiderman pj’s and swim trunks!  He gave out hugs and was one little happy camper.  Next to arrive was Aunt Amy and Miles.  Amy cried as soon as she walked in the door, tears of joy.  He took right to her, while he and Miles have some warming up to do.  I think the age range (only 9 months apart) *might* have a little to do with that!  : ) 

Since Miles was a little jealous and didn’t really want anything to do with X, Uncle Bill took him outside to see the rabbits.  We all followed behind to the swing sets and the playhouse.  Grace and X ran in and out of the playhouse, up and down the slide, and back and forth on the swing.  She packed him around everywhere, and he loved every minute of it!  My Dad, Uncle Raymond, Uncle Jerome, and Heidi made their way to the backyard and watched the kids go this way and that.  It was still unreal to me that everyone was here because of this little miracle running around!  Chace came home from baseball practice and said, “He looks like you, Aunt Lisa”.  I think it’s the brown hair….that’s about it!  Haha

It started to get chilly so we headed back in where the kids jumped on bean bags, played with toys, and visited.  Ashlei and Jenny were checking in with Aunt Patty to see how everything was going, and thanking the Lord for answered prayers!  My friend called to see how everything was going and was so relieved when I told her how awesome it was.  It was only going to get better.

After our visitors left, we picked up and got ready for bath time.  Bath time with my own little one.  How exciting!  He was so excited to play with his new bath tub boat from Heidi and Aunt Patty that he didn’t seem to mind the water pouring over his head.  (I don’t show much mercy during bath time…..water in the eyes only lasts a few seconds!)  I kid, I kid…..kind of!  We finished bath time, lotioned up, and got pj’s on.  We went to the living room to rock in the recliner, and he just snuggled right in dozed off.  It was the most amazing feeling.  Every time I tried to lay him in his bed though, he would wake up and want to be held again….not that I minded that at all!  : ) 

After about 20 minutes of solid sleeping in my arms, I was able to lay him in his bed and walk away.  Even though our room is directly across from his, I still had the baby monitor on.  I was a little restless because I was afraid I would miss something because of the massive snores coming from right next to me in bed.  A few kicks to the shins solved that problem and our room was silent, except the faint hum of the monitor.  After about 4 hours he let out a faint cry and I was there in a jiffy to scoop him up.  He wrapped that little bitty arm around my neck and nuzzled his head to me and I felt like I could just melt into a puddle right there.  I will never forget how it felt to know that I was the person this little man was depending on to keep him safe and give him lovies.  I closed my eyes and swayed back and forth until I heard those little baby snores coming from his mouth. 

He only stirred one more time and we had the same moment again that made me swoon.  Bill woke for work, and after he left I lay staring at the ceiling.  Could I be dreaming?  I sure hoped not.  I was assured it was indeed real by the stirring on the monitor.  I laid and listened, thinking he was just turning over in bed.  I heard a little shuffle and look over to the doorway and see a little piece of my heart standing there.  I hopped out of bed to scoop him up, and In a sleepy little baby voice he says, “hi” and gave me that big pudgy cheek grin.  Swoon.

Grace was awoken a little later by what she called the greatest alarm clock ever.  She begged me to not make her go to school, but since I am so mean (not really) I made her get ready and go.  She was so early getting ready, she had time to play, pack X around everywhere, and get some McDonald’s for breakfast!  She is thrilled with the fact that when she needed to hand him to me to put her jacket on this morning he didn’t want to come to me.  He only wanted his “shishy”. 

We got Grace dropped off and headed to the grocery store to pick up some food for a little boy who will eat just about anything…..this was new to me because Chace and Miles are very picky.  What does a 2.5 year old like to eat?  We just got a little bit of everything and I’m hoping for the best!  Haha  We headed home and put the groceries away and waited for baby X’s caseworker, who would be there any minute. 

In part 3, you will hear what she had to say and how X and I spent the rest of the day!  Stay tuned!

****I am referring to him as X – his name is Xavier.  Shoot me down here, but I dislike that name very much.  Like really, really dislike.  We call him Zay, which is what his caseworker calls him.  We will change his first name when we are able to legally and have decided to name him Lucas.  His middle name will be Xavier, so he still has that part with him.  We’ve called him Lucas a few times and he responds to it immediately.  I’m sure he doesn’t know really, but I don’t think it would be that hard for him to adapt.  Has anyone ever had an experience like this….or know someone who has?  Please do not blast me here….only kind suggestions please!  ; )

I know you've been waiting for it!!! Good news - Part 1

My, my….how things can change in the blink of an eye!   If you’ve followed our story at all, you know that we’ve been waiting to adopt for about 18 months, and started the whole process 2 years ago. It has been the hardest road I’ve traveled.  Hope, disappointment, and fear, are only a few of the words I can think of right now to describe it.

 Well, today, things finally changed.  Sit back and relax, cause this is gonna take a minute!

Let me start by telling you about my friend.  She was one of my best friends from high school and is still a very good friend to this day.  I loved her parents and applaud them for raising such a wonderful daughter.  She is happily married and has 3 wonderful kids of her own.

She spoke with me a while back about her and her husband considering foster adoption.  Since that wasn’t the type of adoption we were doing I wasn’t extremely familiar with it, but offered any advice I could.  They signed up with the same agency we were using and very shortly after they started their dcfs classes, they had a call about a little boy.  Since they wanted to adopt and seemed to be the perfect home for this little boy, they said yes and were given special approval to move him in while they were still working on their classes.

Meanwhile, over at my place, I was having some health issues.  Nothing serious, but stuff that would guarantee that I would never have my own biological children – unless I pull a Mary, and I don’t see that happening!  I was scheduled for surgery on April 16.  A few days before, our caseworker called us about a potential birthparent.  We agreed to have our profile shown and spoke with her about signing up for dcfs classes.  She emailed me the information on the classes and told me we’d set up our 6 month monitoring visit after surgery. 

A couple of days after my surgery, she called to tell me that out of 9 profiles shown, we were one of 3 couples in the final pick.  They were to look at them over the weekend and choose one.  We would just wait to hear from her.

Back at my friend’s house, things weren’t going as planned.  She was very upset because the dynamics with her kids and the little boy weren’t great.  The little boy needed lots of attention (which she completely understood) but her own kids needed attention also.  She was devastated as she made the call to her caseworker to ask them to move the little boy.  As I can imagine, it was the hardest decision she had to make.  She called me so upset that she had “failed” the little boy.  I tried to assure her that she had to do what she felt was right in her heart for her family and that somewhere out there was his forever home, and she was just helping him find it.  I also commented that it was too bad that we weren’t dcfs approved because she had told me how sweet, smart, and loveable this little boy was.  The agency now had 2 weeks to find him a new home.

Shortly after I got off the phone with my friend, our caseworker called.  We were not chosen by the birth parents.  I am very used to rejection by now, and though it sucked, I was not surprised.  Then she asked me a question that started a snowball effect.  Would we ever consider adopting older than an infant…..say 2 years old?  Uh, say what?!  I asked if this little boy was just asked to be moved today and though she couldn’t really give me any information, she said that there were a couple of cases that had recently came up….and I knew.  I told her we would consider it and started internally freaking out.  I called my friend…..could it be that they were talking about her little boy?  She began to feel a little better thinking that her unfortunate turn of events may turn out to be very fortunate for me.  We were just a flutter with assumptions…..and then my phone rang again. 

Indeed, they were talking about her little foster boy.  If we were at all interested, we would need to get a waiver from the director because our classes hadn’t been completed for dcfs.  Apparently those waivers aren’t as easy to come by as one would think.  We needed to wait and see what the director would say.  A simple yes or no answer.   Yes…….or no.  We were told that if they said yes, this could happen very quickly.  If no, it was still not far fetched…..but we would have a few obstacles.

Quickly, huh?  I had a spare room that needed cleaned out.  I mean, it was clean….it was just overcrowded with junk.  I feverously got to work organizing stuff, just in case.

We finally got our answer.  They said no.  However, like I said, it was not so far fetched.  This was now the 2^nd day that we had been discussing this.  There was a way….but my friend would have to make a decision.  Would she be willing to remain his legal guardian until we completed our training (which isn’t set to start until the beginning of May and would last one month)?  She didn’t even hesitate when she told them that she would – and only because it was me.  She wouldn’t do it for anyone else.  What a friend.  I tell you, she is amazing.

The sun comes up today.  Bill heads to work (before the sun came up), his head so full of “what if’s” I could scream.  He is much more logical and cautious than I am.  I have a love/hate relationship with that.  : )  My friend calls me, she has heard from her caseworker.  If we’re all ready, we can begin transition visits as soon as I talk with the baby’s caseworker.  She calls me just as I’ve lathered up in the shower!  Obviously, I had the phone right outside the shower and dry my ear off very quickly.  She is pleased with everything and agrees to the visits if we’re ok with it.  Ha, if we’re ok with it!  I have a room to finish.  My baby cousin (who is not so much a baby anymore!) comes over to help me put together a toddler bed.  With only 14 screws, it can’t be that bad right?  I’ll spare the details, but we only had to take it back apart one time.  Ahem.   Thanks again, Heidi….couldn’t have done it without you!  : )

Since my friend has agreed to remain his guardian, he still has to live with her.  But, he can do visits with us for up to 3 days at a time – until our classes are finished, then we will be his guardians.  My friend is so excited – not to leave him, but to give me my chance to start a relationship with the little boy who will be our son.  Her family brings him over this evening with his meager belongings.  She handed him to me as we were carrying stuff in and he came right to me.  We talked and went to his room.  He started playing and acted as if nothing was going on!  He brought me his plate from a bag and said “eat, eat”.  We headed to the kitchen where he stood in front of the fridge and said “eat”.  He and Grace (who was so excited she could hardly stand it) sat at the table to dine on some re-heated Pizza Hut (I know, such a special first meal – ha!).  I worried as my friend and her family slipped out the door that he would cry……he never even noticed!  He ate all of his pizza just like a big boy as we sat at the table for the first time as a “family of 4”. 

Aaaaand that’s enough for tonight!  Stay tuned to hear what an amazing night we had after the re-heated Pizza Hut dinner!

I can’t even begin to thank everyone enough for their thoughts and prayers.  Though this wasn’t at all how I pictured “it” would happen, it feels right – and I still can’t believe it.  Even if we had been dcfs ready at the time this little boy needed a home, we couldn’t have taken him because of my surgery.   I look at my friend as a special holding place for him – for us.  Would we have gotten him if anyone else had taken him?  I don’t know. Yes, there are still some risks….but we will deal with that as we go.    Maybe some things do happen for a reason.  I’ve never believed that before.  Tonight, I do. 

I love Pinterest!

I love pinterest and all of the awesome ideas it has given me!  One day I will get around to trying all of the stuff I have pinned.  Key words...one day!  It's hard to imagine how I used to organize the things that I would never get around to before pinterest!  haha  Today though, I decided to try out a tutorial for a drawsting dress for the American Girl dolls that I found on this website right here.  Check this out and watch the video, it's great!  I tweaked it a little bit and made these 2 dresses you see here for about 5 bucks....and I still have some fabric left over!

If you want to try this pattern out, I would suggest making the drawstrings longer, or using ribbon for the straps.  I made the pattern ones, and they were too short.  I improvised and ended up using ribbon, but I'm afraid it's going to fray over time...but I was tired of messing with it!  Also, the pieces you have to sew to go over the armpit(?) [bottom left picture] were a bitch to sew.  I cussed more over those things than anything.  If I sewed more often, it may have been easier....but I did finally get it.

The dress on the doll on the right is made exactly by the pattern (except the drawstrings being ribbon).  The one on the left is the same, except I added some length to it and added a ruffle.  It was a little full looking, so I took a black ponytail holder and put it around the waist to bring it in a little.

I think Grace will be pretty excited about Gracelyn and Alaina's new dresses.  I can't wait for her to try to make her own!

Check out my seamstress help in the picture!  He is an awesome husband!

{I know that it is fall and I need to change my layout - I am working on it!}

Hope you've had a fun weekend!

Not me Monday

It was ::not me:: who went to Kroger this morning in the shirt I wore for pajamas last night!  I would never leave the house in anything but freshly laundered articles of clothing!

It was ::not me:: who just last night (wearing the same shirt mentioned above) had to go take some movies back and threw a jacket on and zipped it up because I didn't want to put a bra on.  I'd never, ever leave the house without a bra!!!

It was ::not me:: who spent 10 minutes swinging on Chace and Miles' swing set yesterday {by myself} while they played in the sand box.  I'm much too big to be playing on children's play equipment!

It was ::not me:: who cried and left my dad's without saying anything the other day because I felt like he was yelling at me in front of a delivery guy about moving my car [though it was his normal tone of voice when he's in "work mode"].  I'm much too old to be offended by a harsh tone from my father and I'd never cry about it!

It was ::not me:: who boo hoo'd watching a movie last night about people having babies.  [What to Expect When You're Expecting].  I'd know what a movie like that would do to me and I'd never torture myself by watching it! It was a pretty good movie!

It was ::not me:: who got scared when someone knocked on the door at 10:30 pm the other night while I was watching tv and chace was sleeping on the bean bag.  It was also ::definitely not me:: who scooped him up and ran him to my bedroom and threw him in the bed with Bill so I could go answer the door -- only to find out it was a pizza delivery girl looking for the address 2 houses away.

It was surely ::not me:: who drug out alllll of my fall/halloween decorations Saturday and left them sitting in the living room by the front door.  I would never drag out a mess and not finish it right away!

So, what about you?  Care to share some of your "not me" moments?  I'd love to hear that I'm not the only unperfect person out there!  :)  Have a wonderful Monday!

Little bit of a Debbie Downer.

My Uncle Jim got some good news and some not so good news.  The good news is that his tumor has shrunk from 5.5 to 2.5.  Bad news is that it is spreading.  Still praying for a miracle.  People say they happen every day....

Several of my friends have commented on facebook on a page for a little 13 year old boy with cancer.  I don't know them at all, but read the page and I broke down.  He is ready to pass and there was an interview with his mother talking about how they've told him it's ok to go if God tells him to.  I.cannot.imagine.the.pain.  I have been weeping for 15 minutes for this little boy and his family.  Hoping he finds his miracle also.... 

We got an email from our case worker that it is time for our monitoring visit.  It is no big deal, but I don't want to do it.  Of course we will because we have to...but I still don't want to; sometimes I just want to give up.  I won't give up, but it's what I feel like doing sometimes.  I feel like we're never going to get a baby and that I'm just wasting time worrying, wondering, and crying.  What in the heck have I done to deserve this wait?  Aghhhhh.

I have been in a pretty foul mood lately.  I get mad at Bill for the stupidest things.  Sometimes he pronounces a word wrong and it gets on my nerves.  If he doesn't have the right expression when I tell him something then I think he's mad....then I get mad....then he gets mad that I'm mad even when he wasn't mad.  See how stupid it is?!  Ugh.

So, how's that for being a Debbie Downer?!  I'll think of a better post for tomorrow....but for now, I'm going to wallow in my own self pity and go to bed.  Tomorrow is a new day!

Weekend visitor....

So, if you read my last post, you know that my Uncle Jim is very sick.  He and his family came up for a quick trip this weekend.  I was so nervous that he would look so sick already and that the visit would be filled with awkward moments, like "I know you're sick but I don't know what to say" moments.  It was anything but that....and for that I am so thankful. 

Being sick sure didn't affect Uncle Jim's un-punctuality.  He was as late as ever.  Kidding, kidding!  Sort of.  :)  I thought he was coming to the parade with us and he showed up a few hours later.  He had a good excuse, though...he was napping.  :)  This is something I have always made fun of him for (and not always behind his back...haha). 

Being sick also did not affect his Grandpa-Kopec-like story telling.  A short story will take forever to tell.



And ever.




And ever.





And then a little bit longer.

But, I have never been happier to hang onto every word he said!

I promise I am not being mean by these little digs at him!  :)  I love you Uncle Jim!

When he finally arrived, we showed him and Aunt Ruth the shop (she had never been there) and headed to dad's to cook on the grill.  We visited, ate, laughed, had a campfire, joked, and had fun.  I took lots of pictures but I always do that anyway.  ;)  It was just like normal.  Except he is sick.    

To me, there was a little aura(?) that hung in the air.  We all knew the filthy, unwelcomed guest was staking residence inside him, and cursed it with unspoken words.   Since things were so "normal" I didn't want to talk about the cancer as not to tarnish the visit.  But, it was still there.  I asked how he was feeling a few times and he assured he was ok, a little worn out, but doing ok.  I talked with Aunt Ruth a little bit about how she felt, but I didn't want to pry.  I can't even imagine.

I did not cry there. I am known as a bit of a cry baby 'round these parts - in every sense of the word, but I kept it together.  Since he looks great and acts the same old Uncle Jim, it was easier.  When I do cry about it, it's when I think of the future.  I don't want him to go through this.  I don't want Aunt Ruth and Shawn to go through this.  I want him to be here when I finally get a baby.  What a miracle that would be.  Miracles happen every day....let's hope and pray for his!  And there were the waterworks.  Excuse me.
Ok, let's end this with some pictures!  Pictures make everything better.  I am loving this pic of me and Uncle Jim.  Then there's Chace and him sitting around the fire talking about monsters, a happy, happy family, Amy and a silly Uncle Jim face, and my dad and his siblings. 















Oh, snap!  Looks like I've ended this just in time to catch some Real Housewives of NJ!  Toodles!

Ten for Today

1.  I don't ask for prayers very often.  BUT, our family could sure use some right now.  My Uncle Jim has been diagnosed with terminal anaplastic thyroid carcinoma.  Cancer.  The word makes me sick.  I've never had to deal with someone I know closely having cancer.   This particular cancer has a very low survival rate and progresses rapidly.  There is no treatment.  He will do radiation treatments to keep it at bay, but they will not cure it.  He is coming to visit this weekend (they live a few hours away) and I hope I can keep it together.  My mind is racing trying to think of things I want to say.  If you would, please say a prayer for him, my Aunt Ruth, and cousin Shawn.  They have a very tough road ahead.

2.  I feel awkward posting anything else on this after #1, but I know Uncle Jim reads my blog sometimes and would enjoy reading other tid bits of my amazing wit!

3.  This is my last week of work (for the Doctor anyway).  I am thankful to have had such wonderful bosses over the last few years.  I can honestly say that no one has doted on me as much as they have.  I believe that I am a good worker, and they have never had a problem telling me that.  Makes you feel really good that people appreciate what you do.  I will miss that and hope that my new boss will appreciate the same.  Ahem, Pam/Dad.  haha

4.  Grace turned 11 last week and we had an awesome week celebrating her birthday.  Yes, a whole week!  :)  We had a family party one week before since it's Bill's birthday that week too, then a slumber party a few days later, and wrapped it up celebrating just the three of us on her actual birthday.  She is a very fortunate little girl and I am so happy that she knows that!  We will be delivering stuff to the local children's shelter that she collected in lieu of birthday gifts from her friends (though they were sweet friends and still brought some things for Grace herself!).  Here's the birthday girl::

 

5.  Grace was telling me about a sub teacher at her school the other day and she said she had botox several times.  I asked her how she knew that - she told me because she looks like one of those ladies on those shows I always watch.  I'm assuming she's talking about The Real Housewives and not The Office.  You think?!  hahaha

6.  If you're broke, don't go to the bar all the time.  That costs a lot of money.

7.  I thought someone broke in our house the other night while we were laying in bed.  I saw a light that I could have sworn was a flash light in the kitchen and I heard "someone" stumbling around.  I shook Bill and woke him up and he assured me it was the dogs.  He quickly fell back to sleep while I laid with my eyes bugged open staring out the bedroom door for an eternity.  Once I was convinced no one was there, I started to drift off - and then I heard a scraping noise.  My eyes flew open and I almost screamed seeing something coming in the bedroom door.  It was a BALLOON from Grace's birthday!!  Good thing I used the bathroom right before bed, I think we could have had a real mess on our hands.  I've GOT to quit watching scary movies!

8.  Bill's grandma passed away last week after a massive stroke.  She had a great life and it was obvious she touched her grandkids' lives.  Since there are only 6 grandkids and 3 of them live farther away, it was nice for them to see each other and remember memories of her.  Bill's Aunt let Grace go through her great grandma's jewelry and pick some things out. She showed me a hair comb that she picked out and informed me that she wants to wear it on her wedding day.  Planning ahead, that's my girl!

9.  I am loving my kindle fire I got for my birthday!  I can't wait for Christmas so I can ask for gift cards so I can buy more books!  I have a problem buying books myself when I could just go to the library!  Woe is me.  :)

10.  Ending this because I am tired.  Found a new blog post title I like today, "If you really know me"....think I may try that one in the future.....stay tuned!