Off the wagon....

I've not only fallen off the wagon, I've been ran over by the wagon....drug behind it, and left on the side of the road!  The sucky thing is that I'm the driver of that wagon and I'm in control.  I was doing well!  I was watching what I ate (which makes me feel a whole lot better when I do) and I even went to an exercise class!    Then I quickly began to fall off the wagon.  Let's take a minute to review this train wreck....

Things were going great pretty good.  My eating habits were improving.  As I mentioned, I went to an exercise class (body pump - which was awesome....more on that later) last Tuesday.  Wednesday was the 4th of July and I seem to think that any holiday gives me permission to eat myself silly.  That should have been the end of it....but it wasn't.  Thursday I was so sore, I didn't want to move.  I made it through work and came home to do nothing cause I could hardly move!  Friday, I guess since I had exercised 3 days prior, I felt I deserved to treat myself to McDonald's while taking Chace to play.  Saturday we went to St Louis with the kids so Chace could visit Build a Bear and had to eat out.  I have been on a downward spiral since.  I discovered Nutella the other day.  Big mistake.  Huge. 

I am weak.  Insanely weak.  I often wonder if it's really that hard for people to quit smoking.  I did it for a while and decided it was really gross, so I quit.  Not a problem.  Said I was done and didn't pick up another one.  But, it was not my addiction, so it was not hard.  Food is this awful addiction that I have and I can semi-relate to their smoking addiction.  I eat to celebrate.  I eat when I'm sad.  When I'm mad.  When I'm bored.  Or when I feel I deserve it.  How absurd.  Gahhhhh.   

I haven't blogged this last week.  I lost my accountability.  Boo.  I'm baaaack!  Back on the wagon that I've fallen off of.   Can't promise there won't be any road rage on my trip though, cause this sucks!  But I can do it!!!  :)

Now, on to that body pump class.  Pam had mentioned us going for a while, so I called and got us into a class one evening.  I was so nervous.  I had never been to a class, other than the one that takes place in my living room with the wii as the instructor, or in the playroom at my sister's house where there was hardly any room to move around.  A real, bona-fide exercise class!  I was very nervous about being the biggest girl in the class.  Indeed, I was, but it didn't bother me like I thought it would.  Apparently, the sought after spots are in the back.  Duh.  We didn't get a spot in the back.  Front and center.  Nice.  People were hurrying in there to get their spots - it was like a mad house.  We finally got an instructor to tell us what we needed and got our stuff set up. 

For the next hour and fifteen minutes, I lifted weights, lunged, pushed myself, got red faced, farted twice (though the music was so loud no one heard), got wobbly legged, made my heart pump faster, and bettered myself.  It was great!  Though I felt very self conscious, I'm glad I went.  There were definitely a couple of "cliques" of people, but I didn't feel threatened like I thought I would.  I need to go back, and I will go back.  I need some new clothes to go.  I wasn't very comfortable in my t shirt and capri length cotton pants.  Sounds stupid, I know, but it's not enough to stop me.  Maybe when I lose another 5 pounds, I'll buy some new exercise shorts or something. 

Back on that wagon.

Here's a heavily photoshopped photo of me and my favorite little 11 month old.  By heavily photoshopped, I mean Aunt Lisa got rid of a lot of few wrinkles, played with some teeth whitening, and popped our eyes!  A wagon driver has to look her best! 

Good night!!  :)