11 days post transfer....

and I'm freakin out.  It's not been a good couple of days.  I feel fine and nothing big has happened, I'm just convincing myself that this is not going to work.  I've been reading too much on the internet, that's part of my problem.  But, i think if I just read these message boards with people who are in my shoes, I will feel better.  WRONG.   Major wrong.  It just gets me worrying.  Yesterday was really bad.  I cried a lot and thought of the worst.  I don't know how NOT to do that, since that is all I've ever done with all of this, since none of it ever works.  And if it doesn't, we'll just try again.  But, I don't want to try again!! 

My butt meat is getting knotted up from so many shots......ok, that was not really intended to sound funny, but it does.  I am nauseous quite a bit from all the hormones I'm on.  I cry at the drop of a hat.  My feelings get hurt very easily by people who do not have that intention.  I want to hold my nephew.  I don't want to disappoint Grace if she won't have a brother or sister soon.  I want to be excited when Bill talks to my stomach and not just think he's silly cause there's nothing there yet.  BUT, I knew this was all part of it, every single last bit of it.

So, I am freaking out.  I will get over it, whatever the outcome.  3 more days.....