My First Mom's Day!

For many years I have longed to celebrate mother’s day.  Every year, my heart ached for what I knew had to be the best feeling in the world.  Finally, my dream has come true, and it IS the best feeling in the world!!

My first Mother’s Day was much as I had expected….just like any other day, except I got a present.  The laundry was still here and there were still messes to clean up, but you know what?  I couldn’t have been happier about it!  When the laundry includes itty bitty socks and cute little t-shirts and the messes are sippy cups and strewn about toys, that’s just fine with me!

We had breakfast at my sister’s house and came home for a bit before Grace had to go back to her mother’s house.  Grace bought me 2 new Willow Tree Angels, which were perfect.  After Grace left, we headed to the lake with some fishing poles (not for me though, I suck at fishing).  It was a beautiful day to just be outside and we enjoyed it. 

Lucas was full of kisses and made my heart swell every time he looked at me.  We finally settled in for the night after bath time on the couch.  He fell asleep while I held himas we watched tv.  Even though he sweats like crazy when he sleeps and my arm was soaked I couldn’t get up and go lay him in his bed.  I just wanted to keep looking at him! 

As ashamed as I am to say it, it wasn’t until that moment that I thought of his birth mom.  She may not have custody of him, but she had to be thinking of him.  Since he is in foster care, she did not decide to place him for adoption and did not choose us; but I hope that she knew that we were thinking of her and that she had some comfort that he was in a safe place. 

We made a handprint for her on Monday and will send it to their next visit.  I hope that she will accept it and knows that it is coming from a good place in my heart.  I worry about that.  Though we hope to adopt him and ultimately hope he doesn’t return “home”, I don’t want her to feel like I think I’m better than her.  I hope that my gestures (like sending a letter, picture, or his artwork) won’t lead her in that direction.  I will still send them unless she says that she wishes otherwise.    On Sunday though, I was sure thankful that she gave birth to the precious little boy I was blessed to be holding in my arms!

Some things I've learned in 13 days....

13 DAYS?!?!  Yes, Lucas has been in our lives for almost 2 weeks already!  In this very short amount of time, I've learned a few things....

I've learned that although I've never been a morning person (at ALL), that I am more than willing to wake at 5:45 every morning to a sweet little voice calling, "Mom....Mom!"

I've learned that you have to choose your battles.  Though I've always known this, I've learned that you really have to choose your battles with a 2 year old.  I'd rather he wear his boots to bed than see those big crocodile tears because he doesn't want to take them off.

I've learned that while my bank account may not like it too much, I am so glad that I am not working right now.  I could not imagine all of this happening and having to work during it. 

I've learned that it is possible to function on 4-5 hours of sleep.

I've learned that it feels really nice to hear "Congratulations" from people, instead of "I'm so sorry".

I've learned that even though I've never been a nap person, it's nice to sneak one in with my new little love every once in a while and not feel guilty about it!

I've learned that the people you think would be there to rejoice in this wonderful situation may not be.  I'm very thankful for those that are, some who I wouldn't have expected!

I've learned that it makes me nervous to hear coughs and sniffles and sneezes.  It was different with Grace, Chace, and Miles because ultimately they all had their own moms who made the calls and I just did what they said to do.  I know it will grow on me, and thankfully I have my sister who has been through it and my Aunt Patty who, in my opinion, knows everything there is to know about children!

I've learned that I am seeing life from a whole different perspective and I love it!

We are blessed!

If you're just coming in, please read Part 1 here, Part 2 here, and Part 3 here !!

We have been blessed beyond measure with family and friends who are accepting and helpful.  I cannot imagine traveling this journey by ourselves or with anyone who didn’t “approve” of our decisions.  I love running into people who have read our blog and have them tell me how touched they were.  When they tell me it made them cry, I’m usually glad!  Not because I want them to cry, but I am glad that people are able to feel some of the emotion that we have went through.  I want people to see how wonderful, terrifying, and absolutely beautiful this journey has been.  It’s far from over, so settle in for the ride!   

Everyone has shown Lucas so much love that it makes my heart swell.  It seems as he has always been a part of our family.  He is treated the same as all of the other kids and he fits right in!  Amy and I strolled the boys around the park the other night and were stopped by several people who wanted to meet Lucas and give me congratulations.  I loved every minute of it, because I know these people are genuinely happy for us!

Our visits are going well, I can’t wait for our classes to be done so he can stay with us 24/7.  They will only last one month, I’m hoping it goes by fast!  As far as I am concerned, there seem to be no adjustment "issues" and that suits me just fine! 

My friend who is such a blessing is doing great.  I think her worries have subsided as she now knows this is exactly how it was supposed to work out.  I love her so much for this gift that she held onto for us!

Grace had surgery Friday to have her adenoids taken out.  Her surgery went great and after resting yesterday she is feeling pretty good today.  We left Lucas with Aunt Patty (who is on our list of pre-approved babysitters) while we took Grace for her surgery.  Aunt Patty said he was good when we left, except he wanted to know where his Grace was!  He loves her so much! 

Lucas will pretty much call most women “mom” and most men “dad”.  I think he knows that we are mom and dad….we take care of him and love on him more than anyone, but he doesn’t know what to call everyone else, since he’s never been around anyone for an extended length of time.  Maybe?  I am in the process of gathering pictures for a small photo album so we can read it like a book. It will have pictures of everyone in our family and people we will see on a regular basis.  I’m hoping that doing this he will associate names with faces over time and will give me the pleasure of being the only “mom”! 

He is so funny when he wants to get my attention even when I am sitting right with him.  For instance, we were sitting in his bedroom floor, he was playing and I was going through some clothes from my cousin.  “momomomomMOM!!”  ….”what baby?”  ….”here”  as he hands me a mickey mouse toy.  I love to hear him say mom.  I always imagined how it would sound, but I never in my wildest dreams thought it would sound this sweet.  I just can’t help but smile and look around to see if anyone else heard it.  The same way with Bill….I love to hear him ask for “dad’n”  I’m not sure what all that is about, but most of the time, it’s how he says it.  It is music to my ears.

So, do you have any questions about our journey?  Anything you’d like to hear about or want to be nosey about?  Joking, joking!  Ask away, or give me some suggestions on what to write next.  With the exception of any confidential information about Lucas, I am an open book!  Sometimes the pages may be a little wrinkled or not read exactly how I want them to, but this is my book and I am glad you are reading it!